Influence plays a key role in our lives, shaping how we interact and succeed in different settings. Vanessa Bohns, a professor of organizational behavior and author of You Have More Influence Than You Think, explores this important topic in her work. In a recent conversation, she shared practical insights backed by research that can help you better understand and leverage your natural influence.
Recognising Your Influence
Vanessa compares our lack of awareness about our influence to Mr. Magoo, a cartoon character who stumbles through life oblivious to the impact he has on those around him. Like Mr. Magoo, we often underestimate how much we affect others through our words, actions and presence.
The Hidden Power of Asking
Many of us find it hard to ask for help, fearing rejection or judgment. But research shows that:
- People are twice as likely to say yes to our requests than we expect
- Most people appreciate being asked and are happy to help
This highlights the need to overcome our fears and approach asking with confidence and clarity.
Why We Struggle to Say No
Saying no can be just as challenging as asking. Social pressures and a desire to maintain harmony often lead us to agree to things we’d rather decline. Vanessa’s research shows that understanding these dynamics can help us navigate such situations more effectively.
The Liking Gap
We tend to overestimate how negatively others perceive us after interactions. In reality, people usually think more positively about us than we imagine. This insight can help build confidence in both social and professional settings, including public speaking, where audiences are often more receptive than speakers expect.
Using Influence Responsibly
Recognising our natural influence comes with the responsibility to use it thoughtfully. Vanessa suggests:
- Asking directly but respectfully. Face-to-face requests are far more effective than emails or texts.
- Giving space for a genuine response. Allow people the time and freedom to consider your request.
- Fostering collaboration. Aim for outcomes that benefit both sides, avoiding coercion.
Embrace Your Influence
Vanessa’s work is a powerful reminder that we all have more influence than we think. By understanding the psychological biases that shape our perceptions, we can interact more effectively in our personal and professional lives.
These are just a few of the insights Vanessa shared. To learn more about her work, I encourage you to watch the full interview.
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